Well, this might not be the action you were expecting but action was promised and I am going to go with what feels right and see what happens...
Ever since I started working more I have been feeling the pressure of lack of time and starting on a degree course along side work has only made that worse.
Where this space was somewhere I could escape to easily it has slowly started to feel like a burden and I am even starting to feel guilt creeping in.
I don't have time to think up tutorials and if I did, I don't have time to type them up and take the photo's.
It is often dark when I leave for work and even darker when I get home and opportunities to photograph what I have been making are few and far between. It is becoming too common that by the time I have managed to take a photo, the moment has passed and it no longer seems worth the effort of doing a post.
I no longer get the time to answer comments straight away and visiting other peoples blogs often has to be forgotten in favour of something like laundry or cooking the tea!
I have tried to go gently on myself and just do what I can but it makes me feel sad and dissatisfied, I miss what I used to do and feel I am failing.
My life has changed beyond recognition in the last four years since I started writing here. I was a stay at home mum with two little boys who was lonely and cut off from any one with similar interests. The blogging community welcomed me with open arms and gifted me with so many wonderful things...Real, true friendships, confidence in myself, skills in technology and photography that I never thought I'd have, a family of like minded people who were there with the praise and kind words I was so desperate for and never ending inspiration and support.
Now I have discovered a career I love, I have friends near and far who are happy to join me in knitting or conversations about fabric, I have two much, much bigger boys who are becoming independent but need me there even more than ever as we make our way through all the changes of high school, exams and growing up. I have study which fills my head with new and inspiring ideas but also fills my precious hours when I'm not at work.
For ages I have been reflecting on this dilemma, reflecting but not acting, identifying what wasn't working but refusing to make the changes I knew I really needed to make.
Well today I am ready to take the first step and I have decided that I need to make a complete break from blogging until I finish this year of study. No half measures, just popping in now and again with a rushed and unsatisfying post but a complete stepping away. I need to concentrate on the here and now and to give myself the best chance I can to achieve the qualifications I need to get where I want to go. Ironically in my role as a Learning Coach I spend every day telling teenagers that they need to concider making sacrifices (in time spent on the xbox or with friends or on Facebook) in the short-term to do better in the exams which will enable them to do anything they want to in the long term...a real case of do what I say not what I do!
So that in a long rambling kind of way is me saying goodbye for the moment. I am giving myself until August when my first year finishes and then I will reflect again. Have a lovely Spring and Summer, I know I'm going to miss being here but I also know I need to start taking my own advice.
“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”Carl Rogers
