I have decided that I am incapable of managing in the modern world....those of you who wish to retain a mistaken impression that I lead a perfect and productive life or if you have a weak stomach stop reading now....the rest of you read on...
...you may remember my whimsical wishes to stop the clocks and concentrate on the simple as ways to retain the happy, relaxed and creative days of summer. Well we are less than two weeks into the Autumn term and all those feelings of contentment have already disappeared and the top of my head is tingling with high blood pressure. Let me describe my week...
Mon 8.45am, already a little late for school due to an unexpected load of early morning washing (more of that later) but rushing to try and get there at the best time possible, the exhaust pipe fell off my car. Already more than half way there and knowing I had to get Sam to school anyway I carried on sounding like the worst kind of boy-racer, causing everybody from miles around to come and have a look at what was making the noise. A couple of hours later, after the most excruciatingly embarrassing drive to a garage and the panic of being stuck with no car and no way of getting back home (we used to have a bus to our village once a week but it was cancelled 4 years ago) I was rescued by a heroic friend and delivered home. Quarter of an hour later I was sitting on the floor of my bedroom with a twisted ankle after slipping on the diarrhoea (you may have guessed what caused the early morning laundry now!) that my beloved dog had kindly left for me to step in ( I kid you not!), I confess dear readers at this point I cried.....
Yesterday, a neighbour spent his afternoon disapprovingly shoveling up the beautiful leaves from outside MY house, whilst he cast baleful looks at MY Autumnal trees. I loved those piles of leaves and was looking forward to kicking through them with the boys, enjoying all the colours and the crisp crunching noises....why do people move to the country when they hate nature so?
This morning, hoping to make up for my lateness at school on Monday and also trying to maybe be on time for work, just once, I was up to wave my husband off on his travels at 6am. Things were progressing nicely and all was on schedule for an exemplary performance on all fronts when my car keys did an amazing disappearing act. When 25 minutes later they were found hiding in the sleeve of Sam's school coat (which had been shaken and returned to the car at least ten times by then) it was back to my regular tardy drop-off time at school and sneaking into work, blood-pressure raised, hair pulled-out, late as usual for me.
None of this happened in the summer, I didn't have to be anywhere on time and we moved to our own little tune. No strangers entered our gates, only friends and loved ones and with nowhere to be my stress levels stayed at zero. I am obviously just not suited to living in a modern age and the solution I have come up with is moving to a hermitage...I thought this one might do?
As I suspect moving may take sometime, I expect to be back here with a more normal crafty post at the end of the week, that is if I haven't scared you all away with tales of doggy disasters....









